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Mia, I similarily doubt I will never be able to fully express what you (and the community you created) has given to me. From the depths of my heart, thank you. Thank you so much.

Whitney knew what she was doing. She has to keep her career going and causing a regular uproar in people magazine to get everyone’s attention is unfortunately what she feels she needs to do to keep her name relevant and subsequent income high. Let’s be real here. No one posts things this intimate for any other reason.

If brain development matters so much to you, how do you explain you can get married at 20, you can go to war at 18, you can buy a house or get a bank loan at 19. So what does it matter that kodys brain was developed. It's ridiculous. The only thing that matters is the legality of what happened. Which no one seems to know about it.

Freelee could very well have had an ED, since she has it still. That's why she thinks it is so easy to get rid off. She is still in it, in the form of vegan orthorexia.

Horrific. 1600 kcal per day? I hate sweeping shit that does never suit me. I have to eat over 3000 kcal and I am SOOO tired of hearing about how much it is. As inpatient for anorexia I did not gain from their diet, and was accused of cheating, and put on "watched 24/7" and threatened with force treatment. They did not believe, even when the nutritionist said, I need MORE kcal. My guess is that intuitive eating, "all in" and many other methods where one does not count kcal, has the goal to eat whatever kcal ones body needs, just feeling it. People needing half as much kcal as do I, generally dont want to eat the amounts I do. If they can eat intuitively.

People need to understand that she’s never going to change.

Oh wow. I’m kind of shocked at how much this resonates. The shame of looking incompetent is actually the bane of my existence for the exact reason you state - because it always always invited humiliation.

❤likes) this helps me out a lot with understanding my eating disorder (bulimia) I thought at first I was doing it for attention, then realizing it was more serious then I thought; I tried to stop but it felt like I was at a complete lost, I couldn’t stop, it became addicting, because of stress to it didn’t help anything, I feel like I’m nothing sometimes, I got bullied because of my weight, and now I’m going on a trip thing with my friends and not eating is all I can think about now, and now feeling hopeless to this thing I can’t control;…

I like the idea of all in, but it does not seam to work for me. Some reasons shy it does not work for me personally, can be: - I never had any satisfied feelings about eating before anorexia. I gladly could change dinner for a sack of sugar (was not allowed of course but I went sugar hunting all the time). I could eat all easter or Halloween amounts of candy in the same speed I got it. I gladly ate 2 litres of chocolate ice cream. I was tall and slender, with parents who did not diet, diid not have any overweight, never talked about diets. I also had ARFID and hated dinner foods, wanting only porridge and gruel. Yes, sounds discusting, but those are my favourites even today. In the 70s as child one could not get what one wanted if having ARFID, so I had to eat what was served, as everybody else I knew. I never felt hunger, so I would have been able to go without food for a day, but also could have eaten sugar only for days. When going all in and follow what I feel to eat, I can live on milk from the jar for months, years. I did once. As did I go for eating a couple of punds of candy as only food for months. I got deficiencies. There is never a time when my body thinks: "oh start cooking real food now". - I allways wanted to be stick skinny, like a simple drawed cartoon. Remeber back to age of 3 that I thought about this. When I was 13 or 14 I learned about "if one restricts food (diets) one looses weight" so I started starving immediately. ED was not going overboard with me being skinnier than I wanted - I wanted to be that skinny. - I did all in naturally when I was younger, and every time it resulted in bulimic behaviour (not for some weeks, but for years), suicide attempts or panicking back to anorexia. Doe not matter how much I myself thought "this is not ok, do not do those things, just eat" - it did not work, and it could have lead to death = therefore is dangerous for me. - Listening to what my body want does not work when all it wants is sugar from the package, year after year. Or candy only, or milk from the package only - for years. - I noticed my social functioning is better during anorexia relapses. People are nicer and I am better at talking cold talk than when I am not in ED (not in ED = I talk abour special interests like a bulldozer, and have the energy for odd behaviours). As soon as I get better, its like "phew, now forget about her" and I get isolated. Very hard to motivate oneself when having these kind of problems. Also that "healthy at every weight" is not true! Those who says that, what do they think about bed bound 600 ound people? Or people with destroyed knees? Or loosing hormonal balance due to the weight, leading to non-fertile situation, lady beard and similar? Of course there are weights that simply is too much. It does not matter how narrow the healthy weight span is today, it may be all too narrow. But that does not mean it is healthy to weigh 600 pounds and be 5 foot tall, not being able to move at all. Whats true on the other hand, is that probably people can weigh more than is sean as healthy, without problem and that we have a problematic view on whats best to weigh. On the other hand I also am against the restrictive way of eating during recovery. That way of eating that all in-coaches warns about. Yes, I warn about that too. For the same resons. I felt more restricted during such a recovery attempt, than as sick. Also the doctors and therapists did not know how much I needed to eat, and I did not gain on their diet. In fact I lost more. I was accused of cheating, and threatened to be forced treated. Very problematic. This happend even after THEIR OWN dietist said I needed about 75 % more energy than they gave me. They just said: "nope, that is not normal" (and how normal am I, being over 6 feet tall - do I need energy like a small lady?) My best solution was to combine. learning what is normal to eat, how ofter, how much. But then also half binge. Meaning I eat lots more than "normal" if it is a feast or going out, but never until I give up from almost exploding (I would never get the full feeling in the first year of recovery, leading to eating much more than any 10 000 kcal challenge). I also eat my "fear foods" every day, but in normal amounts. Like a normal portion of moussaka, with normal portion of ice cream as dessert. Much better for me than eating 10 portions of each and be scared of stomach rupture (and beeing very sick for at least 24 hours after, with stomach aches and severe cramps). Now I ate such foods every day for the whole summer, and my feelings is that I do not crave them as much. I did not need to binge them, I just ate them every day, every meal. I sometimes think mindful eating combined with eat whatever is good. Eating really fast often leaves me with a feeling of "what happened, wheres the food?" no matter how much I eat. I ate really fast as anorexic too. I never ever had any problems with eating too slow. So I cant see the problem in me trying to eat a bit more mindful, thinking about how good it tastes before swallowing the whole meal with no tasting. Some of us wont do with all in, and some wont do with scheduled eating. Most of us probably is somewhere on the scale between the extremes. Most may do with all in, but one must have respect for those who cant. I also get very unbalanced, sad and angry when a coach, calling themselves "brutal honest" talks really hard and, yes, "brutally honestly". I have had therapists like that, and it lead to me feeling very worthless, suicide attempts, stopping recovery and others. When I got older, I just told such therapists good bye, but a younger person - it is dangerous to go for "brutally honestness" thinking it is pushing forwards. It CAN push totally wrong. What I need is compassion, and I guess its the same for many others. One reason for starting anorexia also was "all who is so mean to you, they have to be nicer if you are fragile". And they were! Remember: one can be honest without acting cold or brutal! Brutal honestness is not nice.

I do agree that some people with ED’s are seeking attention in the fact that they don’t know how else to express their emotional pain so it shows up as an ED.

Thank you darling Mia

Soooo important!!! Thank you for this!!

Attention itself is a human need. I think it goes beyond needing help - I believe people need attention. Not only when they're suffering or because they're suffering, but because we need to be seen by other humans. We are fundamentally social creatures, and in isolation we whither away, even if our basic survival needs are met. So labelling someone as attention-seeking, and then deciding that that's a bad thing, is like labelling someone as food-seeking and then shaming them for it. Absolutely ridiculous. And then what do these "attention-seekers" do? Internalize even more shame around their needs. Retreat further away from the attention they desperately need, becoming even more at war with themselves, because the need never goes away. It can't. Healthy people "seek attention" all the time! They just do it in a way that is...ya know...HEALTHY, so no one bats an eye. I agree with what you said completely, Mia, I just think there's a piece missing, which is that even wanting attention that isn't about getting help is still okay. Because it's a human need.

I agree with your stance, that seeking attention is often part of the ED, but not in the way that the term "attention-seeking" is mostly understood. Perhaps "cry for help" would be a more sympathetic term. Even now, as a recovered adult, I struggle with help-seeking. I find that if I'm in a really low place in the middle of the night, it just feels "off" somehow to text someone and verbalise that. Lovely to see Lola -she's clearly feeling well, which is awesome. We recently lost our doggo -not to the tumour I mentioned previously, which turned out to be benign, but just old age I think 😞. Bali looks amazing -I'm tempted, but I maybe don't need it at the stage that I've reached in my recovery... might be better off putting my $$ and my energy toward horse camp instead 😊

Notice that mental health issues in women are often reduced to "attention seeking"? Such as suicide.

Glad the title was NOT your opinion.

For me personally, it was me trying to avoid attention; to disappear. Could others have seen it possible seeking attention? Maybe, but for me - how I saw it - it was to avoid attention. And it worked. My illness was ignored, even when I was down to 75/80 pounds. I wonder where I'd be with my recovery had someone actually cared enough to face it head on...would I have actually recovered? Who knows? No one cared enough to notice...and a part of me didn't care...

Thank you for this, dear Mia. I believe my ED has a lot (if not almost everything) to do with boundaries and asking for help (linked to self-worth, of course) - as was my self-harm/cutting when I was younger. Great takes, and superbly expressed, as usual. Big hug <3

I love how Lola shows up on cue when you say "attention seeking." LOL.

Girl you look so pretty. You look so happy and this dress rocks. Respect from Russia

What’s the criteria for coming to Bali please? I’m low weight and worried I might trigger others/not be healthy for them to be around?

I really relate to this. In my case it was more so that I learned really early on "if you don't see the illness, it doesn't exist" and as a mentally ill child and later mentally ill teenager who was undiagnosed, this was my way of showing to myself that something is wrong. Not so much for the attention from others (but that certainly was a part of it) more for myself. It was also "easier" to hide from life that way I guess. Especially being hospitalized (which was quite traumatic in my case because it was against my will) was kind of not against my will, if that makes sense? Because I needed the "excuse" to take time away from uni especially, but life in general.

Nobody can cause so much pain to a human than the entities that rule us.

What I'm surprised by is the amount of women in his comments saying things like "Cody, come back", "The Haters could never make me hate you", and all sorts of statements that support him. It's almost exclusively women. If someone could help me understand this, I'd appreciate that.

"As of April 2021, of the total fifty U.S. states, approximately thirty have an age of consent of 16 (with this being the most common age of consent in the country), a handful set the age of consent at 17, and in about eleven states the age is 18."

I can't stop watching. This is so good I can't handle it 😂😂😂😂😂

My sister has been anorexic for the past 40+ years. it took me a shockingly long time to stop hoping. Decades. Recovery statistics are abysmal. Everybody CANNOT recover and it's horribly irresponsible for you to assert this! ugh, so tired of these falsehoods.

I’m glad we’re denormalizing romantic and sexual relationships between 15-17 year old and 25-30 year olds. Hopefully this continues with the end of romantic storylines in tv shows and movies between these ages, and the end of sexual scenes with adult actors playing minors (one reason I’ve never watched euphoria). I’d prefer if we had an age group like in Sims for young adults. 18-25 year olds can only go up or down three years (not overriding existing laws that prevent 18 year olds from being with 15 year olds).

Thank you so so so soooooo much for posting your podcast episodes on RUclips! 🙏🙌 Your podcast is absolutely amazing! 🤗🥰

This take was so eloquently said and it's a breath of fresh air. Thank you for this video.

Immediately going for the ‘women experience this’ approach and using that for probably 60% of the video is hilarious and indicative of the lack of substance to Tana’s story

They are true narcissists and do it mostly for views. Vegan is ethics not a diet. They are plant based. I've been vegan 55 years. These kids all have eating disorders. It's all a pack of lies.

Thank you for your thoughtful analysis!

The parallel you drew about the age thing made my stomach drop. its so sickening. i don't want to leave in this world

Tana is mainly doubted by many mainly because of her rep sheet not just because she is a woman. Sure gender have some part to play, but she has done a lot of shady stuff in (adulthood) to warrant people not taking her at her word at this point. Victims should be heard, but we need to apply evidence based reasoning too.

I'm so sorry that you were abused. You deserved so much better. Thank you for sharing.

* it’s the people you know *

When I was 25 I found 20 year olds too immature and gross to date ….and I have a developmental disorder

"impossible defense" ..? Lmao how about the fact that where most of you all live, this is completely legal. In my state and in most of the country the age of consent is 16. 17 As well. And people think it's 16 for just other 16 and 17 year olds.. no.. it's 16 to consent to anyone This happens where I live all of the time. I haven't been in high school for 10 years but all the women with older boyfriends are doing just fine and have families. Thinking of them acting like traumatized victims would be I N S A N E. Tana wants attention and she will drag anyone. She drags her parents, she drags ex friends, ex boyfriends.. anyone to make it seem like "poor me". There are so many ACTUAL traumatized r@pe victims and this spoiled influencer wants to say "poor me". Cry about it.

I know the answer it's nosey

Oh my everloving fuck I hate how spot on this is

So well said!!! Excellent points. Also, I was told “oh you’re always looking for attention “ when I was SA’d. They’ll silence you however they can and I’m sick of it. Victim doesnt mean I’m bad or wrong. Same for Tana

As someone who has been unstable due to BPD, I became unstable through abuse and my mental illness made me open to more exploitation while also making me not a “perfect victim.” Which caused a lot of people to disbelieve me that my professor hit on me. When they did. That’s why it’s so difficult as a mentally ill person to come forward.

Blame alcohol 💀

I remember there was a point during my ED where I lost physical hunger and it was just my brain yelling. It was yelling at me about food. I remember going on the ED forums and posting about what I was experiencing and someone responded along the lines of, “your body’s gotten used to the hunger, but your brain hasn’t, so once you push past it, you’ll be all good!” Soon enough, it became a lot less valid if I was just mentally hungry and not physically. I wish I found this video in the earlier days of recovery. Could have saved me years

YES! Goodness, have you seen the reaction to Bhad Bhabies (Danielle bregolli) sharing a video of her child’s father brutally assaulting her, begging and pleading him to stop. She posted another statement the next day saying she loves him more than herself, just tryna hold him accountable so he knows his actions are wrong, leaving would be the easy way, he’s getting help.,, the amount of victim blaming in this very dangerous situation is sickening. I wish more people knew about the cycle of abuse and DV, especially cuz it’s scarily common. People are saying it’s her karma. She acted out as a child because she had an extremely rough upbringing, despite how she was portrayed. Yeah, really makes my blood boil.

in broader social terms, "the infantilization of men" vs the concept that "men are natural leaders" has been really bugging me lately. we bend over backward to make excuses for men's bad behaviour and blame it on women, insist men cannot help themselves, are just simply men and men will be men, AND YET we're expected to follow their leadership even while we insist that women simply mature faster and so thusly should somehow know better? wild. absolutely wild.

I was horrified by the community's treatment of Tana since the very start, because it was hypocrisy. She said the nword, so did every top RUclipsr at the time, but she was the one getting dragged. She lied in her story times? Wow, a 16yo lying to look cool, no way, never before seen anomaly. All that simultaneously with her more popular peers exploiting her for views, sometimes with inappropriate behaviour. Looking at idubz (who gave him the authority to police other people's content? Shaming content clearly not made for him just bc a teenage girl dared to do something online. And it was about that, make no mistake. All the problematic stuff he dug up was solely to reinforce that point, not the other way around) and Shane Dawson especially. I never liked her as a creator, but the piling behaviour against a teenage girl was upsetting to watch. You could tell her environment is toxic and she's affected and trying to put on a tough front. And regarding TanaCon? Whack, but its was hilariously exploitative for VidCon to have her face on a billboard at the hotel facade and not invite her as a featured creator at the same time. Like. What.

When I was 16/17 I was taken advantage of online by grown adults, I didn’t realize it at the time and I didn’t think it was a big deal. I’m an adult now (19) and I wouldn’t even talk to a 16/17 yr old who isn’t a family member. I can’t imagine a 25 yr old thinking it’s appropriate to hang out let alone have s3x (which is r@pe) with a 17 yr old. I’m not a woman, but I can imagine many young women/girls feeling scared to come forward after seeing the backlash Tana received.

Oh naur! This is a great video, I love the points you've chosen to highlight. Especially on the double stadard of 'being young and dumb'. I hope this gets traction Mia, subscribed